Writing… With Children

 

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There’s nothing that grabs my attention like a blog about how an author manages to write at home when her children are awake. That’s right. Awake. There are plenty of articles that talk about writers who are able to wake up before the crack of dawn (yeah, this isn’t one of those articles) or writers who are able to stay up and catch Stephen Colbert’s monologue on her writing break (yeah, this isn’t one of those articles, either) because that’s when the author’s children are still snug in their beds dreaming of the house that gives full-sized Hershey bars or some other wonderful scenario that stirs a smile. If the children are in bed, they cannot disturb the writer. There are plenty of articles about writing in coffeehouses or libraries or other locations that aren’t in the home (yeah, I’ve written blogs like that but this isn’t one of those articles, either). Yet I was starting to think about next week. All four of my kids will be under one roof (collegiate Kath who will be studying for finals, high school sophomore MJ, and twin 9-year-olds Cupcake and Chunk) and my husband is working full time with the promise of Thanksgiving around the corner along with my in-laws. So what’s a writer and parent to do, a writer who wants to make time to write and craves time to write, short of waking up early or going to sleep late?

Close the door?! This is the advice I’ve heard most often over the past six years. Close the door. Put a sign on your door that shows your children you’re writing. Well, first of all, if you are the parent of an infant or toddler or young child, I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS. You can’t close the door on them. My children did not know the meaning of the word nap, but for writers who have children and can only write at home and if your children do know the meaning of the word nap, I highly recommend writing during naptime. Cleaning the house can wait. However, my children are all out of diapers and should understand a closed door means that mom is writing. I’ve tried the “closed door” approach, the “wearing a hat and don’t disturb Mommy unless there’s blood or a broken bone” approach, the “put the earplugs in and hope for the best” approach, the “locking yourself in the bathroom” approach. They all fail miserably. The kids walk in, they laugh at the hat, earplugs only block out the first 90 decibels, and the dog whines outside the bathroom.

If you can’t beat them, join them. This doesn’t mean that I give up writing or that I let the kids win. It means I’ve learned how to write with the television on (yeah, I’m that mom) or with the Wii on. I know that Wild Kratts (thank you Martin and Chris) and other PBS shows provide 25 minutes of writing without commercials. I know some of you are thinking my kids have won because they don’t respect my time in my office. While there’s a small spark of truth in that, I like knowing my kids want to tell me we’re out of apples or MJ put enough peanut butter on his sandwich to feed a small army or they love me. I already know I’ll try this office approach at least once next week and Cupcake and Chunk will open the door anyway, followed by Kath coming up the stairs and telling them blood is supposed to be oozing out of every pore to disturb me, and then I’ll bring my laptop downstairs. I’m a write-at-home mom. That means I’m a writer and a mother. And since I’m not a four AM riser or a 1 AM crawl into bed writer, that means I’ve learned how to write with Chris and Martin in the background.

Are you a writer with kids? If so, how do you write while you and your kids are home together?

Finding Time to Write vs. Making Time to Write

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Last week, I wrote about questions non-writers tend to ask writers. This week, I thought about what questions writers ask writers. The obvious questions came to my mind. “What genre do you write?” “What’s your current project about?” “Are you a plotter or a pantser or somewhere in the middle?” Even though there is no secret handshake for writers (at least, I don’t think there is!), certain terms and familiar head nods signal to writers you’ve found someone else who shares your love of imagining new plots and putting the stories in your head on paper (or a computer screen, whatever the case may be). At conferences, programs, and workshops alike, however, those questions are always followed up with the inevitable, “When do you find time to write?” Having four kids, a Basset hound, a husband whose work schedule is rather unpredictable, and being president of Georgia Romance Writers, I always listen with a keen ear to the answers I hear for the last question. There are the inevitable answers of “I wake up early” or “I go to sleep late.” However, I want to share the time I heard the best response to that question and I’d like to credit the wonderful writer Nicki Salcedo for sharing her answer with myself and everyone else lucky enough to be in her workshop that day.

When I attended my first Moonlight and Magnolias conference, I attended a workshop led by Nicki Salcedo and Jennifer McQuiston on the subject of making time to write. Notice right there the amazing part of this workshop. It didn’t involve squeezing time of a lemon. Two writers devoted to their craft made time for their writing in a deliberate manner. During the workshop, someone asked a question. I can’t remember the question, and I can’t even remember who asked the question. It was something about why Nicki stayed up late to write. Nicki looked the person in the eye and asked if that person liked spending time with her friends. The person looked perplexed and nodded. Nicki told her her characters were her friends and she loved spending time with her characters and why would she not want to spend time with her friends.

This month, I’ve thought about that response often. The joy of writing, the joy of making time to spend with your book characters is sometimes lost in the business of writing. Writers are self-promoters, students, writers, cheerleaders, marketers, and so much more. However, if we don’t love our characters, the villains and the heroes alike, that comes out in our stories. This month I’m making time to recapturing the joy in writing, the joy in my characters, the joy in making time for something that is an integral part of myself. Without that joy, without that determined focus on wanting my characters to become a part of someone else’s lives, I don’t know if making the time to write can translate into a great story. The joy of making friends with your characters and spending time with those friends can go a long way in answering “when do you find time to write” because that joy is the reason you make time to write.

 

 

Writing Daily?!

What does Writing Daily even mean?

The short answer is it depends on you. However, the long answer might be more interesting and might provide more insight. When I started writing and realized I needed to learn about the craft of writing, I started attending workshops and reading craft books and articles. They all said the same thing about there not being one right way to write a book. That is very true. They also said a writer has to write daily. Hmm, that’s something that I’m questioning the longer I write. Does that mean I write on Christmas? Does that mean I write when I have a fever of 103 and have the flu? Does that mean I have to write fresh words or does that include editing? I love writing, and I want to write as often as I can. But what does the phrase “Writing Daily” mean and what if I can’t write every day? Here are five tips on ways to organize your writing time that might lead you to become more productive in your writing.

Organization. In my last blog, I briefly touched on ways to get organized. That is a huge part of figuring out what your approach to “Write Daily” means. If you know you are working four twelve-hour shifts, you might be able to carve huge chunks out of those other three days and find a way to be more productive than if you write for one hour every day. If you know you are attending a writer’s conference (yes, this means me who forgot to account for a writing conference I’m attending in October, the awesome Moonlight and Magnolias Conference sponsored by Georgia Romance Writers), you might want to try to conclude a project and meet your deadline right before the conference so you can enjoy the conference (or your family vacation or some other special occasion). Knowing when you can write over a month’s time will give you the peace of mind of looking forward to time with you and your manuscript. Whether this time comes twenty minutes a day while your child plays soccer or means you have to wake up an hour early to squeeze an extra hour out of your schedule (but not at the expense of your health!) or whether you give up watching your favorite Netflix show until your manuscript is finished, that’s up to you. But finding that time in your schedule and anticipating that time is worth the effort.

Writing. The first year I was writing, I was always working on a first draft because I thought writing meant new words. Here’s my helpful piece of advice: I was wrong. Writing can be brainstorming and research (but give yourself a deadline), a first draft, or revising. It’s sitting at a chair or standing at your desk with your manuscript and working toward completing it.

Set Your Own Goal. Some writers set a page goal; some set a word count goal; some set a specific number of minutes. All of that is okay. You are writing and that’s what’s important. You’ll learn over time what measure of a goal works for you. If you are working and not goofing off, you’re spending time that will help you accomplish your goal of writing and revising a book.

Don’t Compare Yourself to Others. You are you. You know what you are capable of. If you track your progress over time, you’ll see what you’re capable of. Yes, there are authors who write thirty pages a day. Yes, there are writers who write eight thousand words a day. Yes, there are authors who write for eight hours a day. Unless that is you, don’t worry about that and don’t compare what you are able to do to that. Be proud of what you can get done and concentrate on making your manuscript shine.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up. If you aren’t goofing off and checking Facebook or doing whatever your favorite leisure activity is, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t write ten pages and you really wanted to write ten pages and you are used to writing ten pages a day. Did you really do your best? Did you concentrate and work hard? Then smile and be happy you spent time with your characters. The more excited you are about your manuscript and the time you do spend on it, the more that will show up on the page.

So those are five tips about how to approach writing daily that you might not have thought about before. Here’s the sixth: put writing first. Only once your writing goal for the day is met, then turn to marketing through social media or blogs, then pick up that craft book you need to read to improve your writing. Happy writing.

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On the Road Again

Now that my children are back in school, my summer of traveling is over. For our vacation, we loaded up the minivan and headed off to St. Louis, Missouri, a wonderful family vacation spot. The City Museum, the Gateway Arch, and barbecue and thin crust pizza. Even if I hadn’t specified St. Louis, one of those clues would have filled you into my destination. I was also fortunate enough to fly to Denver for a writing conference. While I didn’t get to explore the town, I did see the Rockies, the Paramount Theater, and the Tabor Building. As a writer, I would have loved to explore the cities more, talk to people, get a feel for the local flavor. Settings in a book, when well done, often become like a character and add an extra layer of adventure for the reader. Here are two ways I think a writer can bring out extra details in the setting.

Sensory Details. Writers have a huge opportunity with a setting to use sensory details so the reader can feel as if they are in the same town as the main character. If I’m reading a book set in a beach town, I want to feel the breeze in my hair, taste the salt on my lips, and hear the ocean waves lick against the sand. If I’m reading an urban thriller, I want to hear the police sirens and smell the police precinct. When I was in St. Louis, it was hot and humid, and I could taste the sweat on my face and feel the humidity like a wall of bricks around me. For lunch one day, we indulged in ice cream, the sweet sugary goodness going a long way when we exited the restaurant into the humid air.

Local flavor. I read a book recently and when I reflected on the book, I had no idea what state the small town was in or what differentiated this town from any other. While writers should go past the stereotypical details, a little local flavor can go a long way. When I went to Denver, I asked for unsweet tea and the man next to me laughed and asked if I was from the South. So while it might be stereotypical to include sweet tea in a book set in the deep South, a writer can go a little deeper and evoke emotion from the local flavor. Maybe your main character hasn’t returned to her family home in years and that’s the first sip of sweet tea since her grandmother’s funeral.

Sensory details and local flavor are two ways a writer can play up the setting for more realism and depth. What are some of your favorite settings in a book and how did the author make you feel like you were there in the setting?

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Are Writing Conferences Worth the Investment?

Of course, the wishy-washy answer to the question about whether writing conferences are worth the money is “it depends.” But there’s more to that question and, as I’m preparing to go to a huge writing conference this month in Denver (RWA18), I’d say there’s a lot more to the simple answer of “it depends.” Writing is often a solitary experience. As I’m writing this, I’m at my keyboard all by myself. However, in a little over two weeks, I’ll be surrounded by romance writers, eager to soak up information about the craft and business of writing and eager to network until they return to their writing caves. For me, as for so many writers, a conference’s cost is not only weighed in terms of money, which is a huge factor, but also in terms of time away from my family. So, are writing conferences worth the money? While everyone has a different experience, I’ll give some reasons why they’re worth the cost, the time, and the commitment.

 

A shove in the right direction. While the cliché states “a push in the right direction,” a conference can be a huge wake-up call about the publishing industry. And while expensive, it can wake a writer up to whether or not she is willing to commit to writing as a career, or keep it as a hobby. In 2013, I attended my first writing conference. I’d attended five Georgia Romance Writer programs before that, and the topic of RWA being in Atlanta had come up during the business portion of the program. Wanting to pursue a career in writing made my mind up. My husband and I saved our pennies (and cleaned out the couch to find a couple of dimes), and I commuted to the conference. This was a wake-up call for me. Attending workshops and listening to conversations around me, I learned I had a lot to learn. For a couple of days, I was overwhelmed, but then I used the tools I’d learned about productivity, about craft, and about networking and I went to work. I had a lot to learn, and I still continue to have a lot to learn, but that first conference made me hungry for learning from others, reading books in my genre, and for sitting down and actually putting the stories in my head on paper (or in my case, on a hard drive and on back-up drives).

 

Networking. RWA2013 provided me with more than just a hunger for learning about the industry and the craft. Since it was in Atlanta, I ran into writers I had met at Georgia Romance Writers. One writer had also joined in January, same as myself, and we found ourselves at some of the same places at the hotel and in some of the same workshops. We agreed to exchange notes and ideas about the different workshops, and within a few months, we exchanged chapters of our books. That writer is now my critique partner, and if I hadn’t gone to RWA2013, we might never have talked as in-depth as we had. One of the workshops at RWA that year that I was unable to attend but that my critique partner did was a talk about writers who had formed a writing blog. My critique partner told me about Seekerville, a writing blog, and I began to follow the blog where I’ve made some genuine connections with other writers. Even the “ships-passing-in-the-night” conversations have made an impact on me. I’ve sat at lunch tables with writers from Australia, France, Canada, and more. Hearing their stories of their travels and their stories about their writing experiences have inspired me to make sure I have one lunch or meal where I pick a table where I don’t know anyone and introduce myself.

 

Those are two reasons to think about going to a conference. There are so many great conferences in every part of the country. They are a commitment. They cost money, and some involve travel. But your characters deserve a commitment to make their story the best you can right now in your writing career. Writing conferences, though, are often a step outside a writer’s comfort zone as many writers, including myself, are introverts. Yet stepping outside your comfort zone is sometimes the best way to make your writing that much better.

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Blogs, Podcasts, and Craft Books, Oh My!

When I started writing, I’d go to the library and work on my romance novel. The concept of trying to find other writers and learn from them didn’t dawn on me. So, I started off not knowing about writing blogs, podcasts, and craft books. Instead, each day after I dropped off my children at school, I’d travel to the same library, open my word document, and write. Without letting anyone read my work and without editing, I made twenty copies of my voluminous novel and sent them to agents and editors. I received nineteen rejection letters in short course. Then, I found out I was pregnant with twins and stopped writing every day until they entered preschool. When they started Mother’s Morning Out, I knew I had to write again. My fingers were itchy, the stories had been brewing and, more than anything, I wanted to write a book. This time I heard about a writing class offered at a local bookstore. When I attended the class, I discovered a new world. The authors defined literary fiction and genre fiction, and I knew I was a genre author. Equally as important, the authors talked about local organizations and I resolved to attend one of these local programs to find out about romance writing. Fast forward almost six years and now I see so many offerings to writers of all levels. Everything from craft books to blogs (exactly like this one) to podcasts to conferences to websites and beyond. There are so many writing tools an author could get lost in the “dos” and “don’ts” if she’s not careful (although I’d like to say that no one way to write is the right way. What works for me might not work for someone else, and what one author might consider a rule of writing might be something that another author learns so she can break the mold). With every tool that’s out there, what is worth an author’s time and what isn’t. Here’s some advice for writers of every level.

  1. Bottom in chair, hands on keyboard. Yes, it’s important to work on your craft and learn from other authors, but it’s important to have something to work on. Writing a book is hard work, and it requires day in, day out perseverance. Otherwise, there are enough podcasts for you to do nothing but listen to podcasts rather than producing words.
  2. Find writing groups whether in person or online. Writing is solitary. When it comes down to it, it’s your imagination and you sitting down at a keyboard (or pen and paper) and writing. Writing friends can get you through the hard times and understand what you’re going through in ways no one else can. Whether you have a critique partner, a street team, faithful beta readers, or a local writing chapter, it’s important to have another writer you can open up to, brainstorm, share good news and the bad, and celebrate typing “the end.”
  3. Know yourself. I like reading craft books a little at a time, and I seek out recommendations from friends. I’ve discovered I love reading James Scott Bell’s writing craft books. For me, he’s easy to relate to, he explains concepts in an easy-to-understand manner, and his observations are worth the investment and time. As far as blogs, there will always be certain bloggers you read a couple of times and then you want to shout from the rooftops, “A-ha.” With podcasts, I like to vary my time between listening to a writer or motivational speaker and listening to something for fun. I’ve rediscovered radio programs, such as the Lux Radio Theater, where actors and actresses would act out a recent movie. These are a great way for me to pass the time in traffic, but they have the extra advantage of making me think about acts, character arcs, and plots. Hearing a movie as a radio program makes me listen to the dialogue and think about what I like or don’t like about the characters. By knowing how much time you have for learning about the craft and knowing your schedule (for instance, you might travel an hour to and from work every day and might want to listen to a podcast one way and an audiobook or a radio program or music on the return route), you’ll get an idea of how to prioritize according to your learning style.
  4. Try something new. If you like reading craft books, reading blogs for a couple of days might be able to help you target an area of writing where you’re having trouble. If you like podcasts, an audiobook might be a nice change of pace or vice versa.
  5. Don’t break the bank. Libraries are great places if you want to check out some different craft books, and many offer audiobooks to download if you have a library card. Blogs are free, and many blogs will give you a free writing book if you sign up for the author’s newsletter. Along with not breaking the bank, decide beforehand how much time you have each week to read about the craft of writing or about marketing your book and stick to it, making sure not to cut into your actual writing time.

Regardless of what fits your learning curve the most, thank you for taking time to read my blog today. If you’re a beginning writer, reread your favorite book taking note of how the author writes her characters and uses strong verbs. If you’re a writer who just published his or her first book, read blogs about marketing books and making good use of your time before a book launch. If you’re a more experienced writer, continue to learn.

And please feel free to share your favorite blogs, podcasts, or craft books below.

 

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Write-at-home mom

Write-at-home Mom

I stole this phrase a while back. I immediately identified with it and started using it. There’s only one problem with it. I rarely write at home. During the school year, I write anywhere except home. I’ve tried to write at home, but there’s always a load of laundry to fold or a dishwasher to unload. When I’m at home, my loving Basset Hound, Vera, believes my purpose is to pet her (or make her a sandwich, if I would be so inclined, instead of feeding her kibble) and pay attention to her. If the kids have a day off, they conveniently stay out of my way if I’m cleaning, but the second I open my WIP, there are problems galore that only Mom can solve. So, I’ve learned to write at libraries, at Panera Bread (a huge thank you to all the employees who kindly let me wear out my welcome, and I do leave at peak hours), and in the parking lot. The question then becomes where to write.

One of my favorite television shows of all time is a little known gem called Ellery Queen. A precursor to Murder, She Wrote, this mystery show followed the adventures of a mystery writer who helped his father solve murders. Why it was only on for one season astounds me. There’s one episode that features Ellery working furiously to finish a book before a deadline. He only had a couple of days to finish forty pages and he had hurt his finger which was wrapped up and unable to be used to write or type. (One other aside: the show is set in 1947 before word processors and computers.) With a busted finger, he hired a secretary, one Miss Margie Coopersmith with a “C,” to write down his dictation. At eleven thirty at night, Miss Coopersmith asked Ellery if he would like to continue writing at the automat. Ellery looked at her as if she were crazy. “Writing? At the automat? It’s too noisy.” He told her he wouldn’t be able to get any work done in the noisy confines of the automat, instead preferring the interior confines of his New York City apartment.

Unfortunately, I’m the opposite. When I’m at home, it’s too busy. Writing in the busy atmosphere with four kids, two pets, one husband, and a myriad of chores is almost impossible for me. The good thing about writing at someplace other than my house is that it gives me a couple of minutes beforehand to think about my writing for the day: where I’m at in my outline, dialogue, setting, POV, and so on. The bad thing is that it eats up time as I travel to different places.

What’s important for me, more than where I write, is working on consistency. Writing deliberately every day is crucial for me to get the character’s story on the written page. This summer, I’ll be the one at the library or Panera with my gaze glued to my computer screen.

Where do you like to write?

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